Being the habitual liar that I am (as if you didn't already know), I decided to share some of what I have learned over my past 19 years of existence.
When you forget to ring in a tables order and they ask where it is:
1. "We have some new trainees in the kitchen and they dropped you food so they had to recook it."
2. "The chef's messed up you order, so they had to recook it"
3. "Someone else grabbed your food out of the kitchen by mistake."
4. "They lost the ticket with your order on it."
5. If they asked for something specially made, for instance, they wanted their steak cooked medium rare and it came out well, tell them that they had to start over with a fresh steak.
When you havent been to class in a week/ excuse for a late assignment:
1. The "Dead relative" one works really well.
2. The "Work Situation" one works also. Tell your teacher how you have a high postition at your job (ex: I tell them that im a head waiter) and that someone quit or had to go out of town, and you were the only person who could cover their shifts. Then tell your teacher that you were so busy with school and work that you completely forgot about the assignment.
3. The "Im sick" routine. Make up a sickness. Always make sure it coincides with the time of year (winter=flu, cold, spring/summer=allergies).
4. Oh, the "Crappy computer". Your computer keeps crashing on you and you lost everything. Or say that your printer ran out of ink that when you were printing it out last night and it was too late to buy a refill. You could also say that you got a computer virus. It works the same.
5. The "Jail" excuse. This one works for not going to work. Say you got busted for something that would involve you staying in jail overnight (public intoxication, you got in a fight at a bar). And make sure you follow up on the lie also (I'm gonna miss next week cuz ive got a court date. Only use this one a semester, MAYBE twice if you think you can pull it off.
6. The "broken car" excuse. This works on missing class for a day. It works for being late to work also. Use any car knowledge you have, and use it as an excuse. "I got a flat on the road", "Engine overheated", "Out of gas".
When friends/co-workers ask you to do things for them (pick up a shift, hang out with them, etc.):
1. I've got class that day.
2. I've got ..............(make up some family outing [dinner, granny's house] it always works)
3. I've got homework/ a project to do.
4. I'm grounded (if you still live at home)
This one could go forever. Whatever you say or do, make it believable and convincing.
Im gonna write a book, or a pamphlet or something and its gonna be about common resturant courtesy and manners. For example: Dont treat your waiter like your their only table. It's like ball hogging, only with your waiter. We've got three, four, sometimes five other tables besides the one we're talking with and the others all need you to go get stuff (drink refill, more bread, silverwear) and when you sit there and take 15 minutes to order you food, the other tables get mad at me and at you. I'm sorry, didn't mean to get on my soapbox.
Todays blog:
Miree's Blog
I do not understand the concept of love.
Check this out. Finally some recognition.
Ode to the Nice Guys
I have perfected the art of steering my car with my knees. Its funny to see the looks on people's faces when they see me driving with both hands behing my head.
See you space cowboy............
When you forget to ring in a tables order and they ask where it is:
1. "We have some new trainees in the kitchen and they dropped you food so they had to recook it."
2. "The chef's messed up you order, so they had to recook it"
3. "Someone else grabbed your food out of the kitchen by mistake."
4. "They lost the ticket with your order on it."
5. If they asked for something specially made, for instance, they wanted their steak cooked medium rare and it came out well, tell them that they had to start over with a fresh steak.
When you havent been to class in a week/ excuse for a late assignment:
1. The "Dead relative" one works really well.
2. The "Work Situation" one works also. Tell your teacher how you have a high postition at your job (ex: I tell them that im a head waiter) and that someone quit or had to go out of town, and you were the only person who could cover their shifts. Then tell your teacher that you were so busy with school and work that you completely forgot about the assignment.
3. The "Im sick" routine. Make up a sickness. Always make sure it coincides with the time of year (winter=flu, cold, spring/summer=allergies).
4. Oh, the "Crappy computer". Your computer keeps crashing on you and you lost everything. Or say that your printer ran out of ink that when you were printing it out last night and it was too late to buy a refill. You could also say that you got a computer virus. It works the same.
5. The "Jail" excuse. This one works for not going to work. Say you got busted for something that would involve you staying in jail overnight (public intoxication, you got in a fight at a bar). And make sure you follow up on the lie also (I'm gonna miss next week cuz ive got a court date. Only use this one a semester, MAYBE twice if you think you can pull it off.
6. The "broken car" excuse. This works on missing class for a day. It works for being late to work also. Use any car knowledge you have, and use it as an excuse. "I got a flat on the road", "Engine overheated", "Out of gas".
When friends/co-workers ask you to do things for them (pick up a shift, hang out with them, etc.):
1. I've got class that day.
2. I've got ..............(make up some family outing [dinner, granny's house] it always works)
3. I've got homework/ a project to do.
4. I'm grounded (if you still live at home)
This one could go forever. Whatever you say or do, make it believable and convincing.
Im gonna write a book, or a pamphlet or something and its gonna be about common resturant courtesy and manners. For example: Dont treat your waiter like your their only table. It's like ball hogging, only with your waiter. We've got three, four, sometimes five other tables besides the one we're talking with and the others all need you to go get stuff (drink refill, more bread, silverwear) and when you sit there and take 15 minutes to order you food, the other tables get mad at me and at you. I'm sorry, didn't mean to get on my soapbox.
Todays blog:
Miree's Blog
I do not understand the concept of love.
Check this out. Finally some recognition.
Ode to the Nice Guys
I have perfected the art of steering my car with my knees. Its funny to see the looks on people's faces when they see me driving with both hands behing my head.
See you space cowboy............
posted by Blaximus at 12:03 AM
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