The only reason I'm blogging right now is because I'm bored.

Quick shout-outs:

Grice-Sorry about Friday night, damn hostesses kept seating me with crappy tables that wouldn't leave.

Miree-Thanks for the advice you gave me the other day.

Graduating class of 2004- Congratulations and good luck on your road ahead.


So Friday morning, me and Steven go and hit the bike trails behind Cyresswood Park (or Collins Park for those hippies out there). It was a lot of fun. I tried to jump some bmx ramps on my mountain bike (not a good idea). I totally destroyed "my" bike while we were out in the middle of nowhere. We're gonna go hit the trails again next week, as soon as I find a new bike.

UNT, here I come!

Man, this blog sucked.

Good fun last night, huh Steven? Dude I almost crapped my pants when the 5-0 walked in. Beastmaster!!

"I hope that your the one. If not, then you are the prototype"

Um, I am totally incredibly bored. I am sad to say that I am glad that I am taking summer classes. Oddly enough, I am bored with sleeping in 'til 11 and doing nothing all day, everyday.

Man I love playing Vice City. I was walking down the street the other day and I hear tons of gunfire. I turn around and I see a gang of Cubans just layin' into these two cops. Got to love the 80's when cops where getting beat up by minorities.

Attention '04 Seniors: I am looking for some crazy graduation parties on this upcoming weekend. Give me a call if you know of any.

No more burdens.

"Guns don't kill people, dangerous minority groups with guns kill people."

"Dave, whats gotten into you?"
"Its not what's gotten into me, its what's gotten into Oprah. My seed, son!!"

So I was cleaning out my closet last night, and I found this 3 month old cookie cake that this girl gave me for Valentine's Day. I'm gonna see how long I can leave it there.

For those of you that didn't know, Klein HS had its prom last week. Here are my predictions for Prom Babies this year: 3 babies; 2 boys and 1 girl, and they're all gonna be named Madison.

My Rick James shirt came in the mail on Friday.

Here are some more tips for when you go out to a resturant:
1. Don't ask other waiters for items, stick to your own waiter. I was at work on Saturday morning, and one of the other waitresses asked if I could drop off some drinks to her table. Being the nice guy that I am, I did it for her. I get to the table, drop the drinks off, and then the table has the nerve to ask me to get them some more bread. Big no-no. This only upsets that waiter and the original waiter.

2. When you order ANYTHING from anywhere, always specify. This has happened to me so many times.
-"I'll have the crawfish"-Hey dumbass, we have 5 entrees and 2 appetizers with crawfish, which one do you want?
-"You never got our kids anything to drink"-Bitch, you never ordered anything for them. I'm not a mind reader.
"Give them both strawberry"-Strawberry what? strawberry soda, strawberry milk, strawberry icecream, a bowl of strawberries, strawberry shortcake?
"We dont have strawberry soda, ma'am"
"Why not?"- Why not? Cuz I said so!!

You know what's great? Going back to your old job and showing them how much better off you are since you quit there. I went back up to Krogers the other day, and when I walked in, everybody was like "Brandon!!" I told them that I work at Pappadeaux and they're all like "Wow!!" Then I tell them that I make like $300 on an "ok" week, and they're like "Are you serious?!?!". Good times, good times.

The time has come for me to face my greatest fear..........

I was at the mall the other day, and I swear it was like a class reunion. I saw Willie Pugh, Adriana Trevino, Cara Christensen, and Micheal Canlas, all people I haven't seen since HS.

I think mistress is cheating on me. I'll teach her a lesson.

Bad weather brings out the bad driver in everyone. Have you ever noticed how when the stop lights are blinking and its not rainy, everything goes smoothly, but when its raining and the lights are blinking, nothing goes right? Take yesterday for example. The heavens opened up and let out the rain its been saving up for the past year and a half. I was at the light at Jones and Cypresswood (i think), and the light was out. Well, when i get to the light, and people were driving all crazy like. And then later, on my way home, I passed by a grocery store and there were two trucks doing donuts in the parking lot. Bad weather brings out the bad driver in everyone (especial women drivers). Who said that???

I retract my statement about anyone looking for summer jobs (unless you want to work at Krogers. But take it from me, you'd want to stay far away from that hell hole).

Oh, by the way, the 1st annual THPS Skate-off went down Wednesday night. And you know what, it was a tie 2-2. By the end, we had lost interest. Curse you ADHD.

Viva Gorditas!!

Is is just me, or does Eminem look hot as those two groupies in the "My Band" video?

So being the nice son that I am, I surprised my mom today and brought her lunch at work.

Man, I almost got into two accidents yesterday within in a hour timespan. Now most of you know how I drive, and that did play a small part in it, but it was also raining. Ok the first time, I was driving like 60 in a 50, in the rain, and the car in front of me abruptly stopped. So I slammed on the brakes because it's what I usually do when someone stops in front of me. Well, of course I start to skid. I tried to steer away from the car, but even with my tires turned completely to the right, I was still about to hit this car. Luckily the car turned before I smashed into the back of it. My second scrape with death happened like 45 minutes later.
I was driving down 2920 into Tomball and I was about to cross the railroad tracks. As soon as I get over I see a car stopped about 50-75 feet away. Again, I slam on the brakes and start skidding. This time I stopped like 5-10 feet away from the car. I almost crapped my pants.

Nick gets home today. Let the summer of mayhem begin!!!

Holy shnikes!! You know that song my Mario Wynnins "I don't wanna know"? You know that intro, with the low humming noise? Well at first I thought it came from the Fugee's song "Ready or Not". But it actually comes from one of Enya's songs "Boadicea". I just heard it on my LAUNCHcast internet radio. Damn.

Looking for a job? Give me a call. Seriously.

Well I'm gonna skate on out (forshadowing). Smell ya on the flip side.

Hey y'all, comense to jigglin!!
You dirty snarge!

So yesterday I actually made a little bit of money at work (about $95 working on the patio). Working on mother's day wasnt as bad as I thought it would be.

Have you ever noticed that before you watch Jackass, Wildboys, or Viva La Bam, they have a disclaimer that says "Stunts preformed by professional"? Professionals? How does shoving a Matchbox car up your butt make you a professional. If they're professionals then me and Nick must be trained professional, then. Oh, well.....

What else, what else....

Nick gets home on Wednesday. It'll be just like the good ole days.

Man, I've got nothing. Well, just this quote from my favorite movie.
"Behind every strong black man is....."
".....the police?"
"....a bunch of slow white atheletes?"
"......a cute butt?"
"...probable cause?"
"No, a strong black woman."

See you space cowboy......

Feliz dia de madre.

Man, I am so tired. Yesterday I worked 14 hours (give or take thiry minutes). I worked as a waiter in the morning, and then as a plater at night. Last night was crazy. They stated putting tables together that I've never seen put together before. And with today being Mother's day, its only bound to ge crazier. But at least I'm gonna be making some money. The only thing I'm worried about is screwing up. Dan, the manager, was telling me about this waiter he had a few years back, and the waiter tottaly screwed up on the is one table on Mother's day. They table said that he had ruined their Mother's day and that they would never come back to another Pappas resturant ever. I feel sorry for that kid, well, not really.

I was at Hot Topic the other day, and they've got the Cadillac beltbuck that I have there for like $20. You know what that means? Soon I'm not gonna be the only one with the Caddy beltbuckle. There's only one thing that I can do. Buy all of them, and then sell them for like a bill a pop.

So last night after work, me and a couple of co-workers went over to Bennigans to get some grub. We're all just sitting there, talking or whatever, and somehow we get on the subject of how old we are, and this one girl named Peter was like "I'm turning 19 in July" (her name was changed to protect her reputation). Then I say, "No your not your turning 20".
"No, I'm turning 19"
"When's your birthday?"
"7/4/1984"
"Yeah, your turning 20"
"Are you sure?"
"Have you been drinking????"
"Oh my gosh, I'm gonna be 20!!"
Then she starts crying and spazing out and then she calls her parents (at 2 o'clock in the morning) and asks them if she really is turning 20. That's why, kids, you should never sniff glue or markers. Drugs kill.

Cush, THPS stands for Tony Hawk Pro Skater, you know, the skatebording game. Oh by the way I smashed your score at the Monkey last week, biatch. 658. Wabam, penis in yo face. PF Flyier? Those arent even real, they just made those for The Sandlot. You know what, I always wondered what happened to Judy, the younger sister on family matters, but thanks to Cush, all my questions were answered here. (go to may 9,2004)

"You know, I never trusted that Colonel. Them slaves cooked that chicken. Ain't no white man know 'bout no 16 herbs and spices."

Well, well........

Man, I am so incredibly sore today. I started up my workout plan again on Monday, and every since Ive been so sore. You know how you usually get sore the day after you work out? Lately Ive been getting "48 Hour Soreness". Dan, the GM (General Manager) at work was telling me that if you havent worked out in a while and then start up again, it takes your body a day or more to become sore. Being sore sucks. When you try to reach for stuff, you got to take your time. And sitting down? Don't get me started. But I guess it's like the saying goes, "No pain, no gain".

Hey Nick, I had this crazy dream last night. Me and you were roomates at the University of Houston. Take one street smart black guy, and one books smart white guy, throw them in a dorm room, and what you've got is "College Guys", the new NBC sitcom, coming this fall.

Hey y'all, check out this shirt that I bought. How cool is that, huh?

I am damn sexy. If I wasn't already seeing someone, I'd take myself in the back room, bend myself over, and stuff myself like a Thanksgiving tukey. Oh yeah.

Oh, big thanks to Bayan for letting my cheat off of him on my math final.

I hope everyone had a "bueno" Cinco de Mayo. I know I did. It was chock full of math, history and english finals.

You know what? Lately I've been getting a lot of compliments on my style of dress. If you've seen how I dress nowadays then you know what I'm talking about. But there really is nothing special to my wardrobe. Take what I wore yesterday, for example. I wore my Ferrari shirt, a pair of my busted-up jeans, and my Converse. I love that Ferrari shirt. Its a teal colored shirt with Ferrari in red letters. When people ask where I got it from I say, "Well, after you buy 3 Ferrari's they give you this free shirt". I buy most of my shirts from a resale vintage clothing store (via The Left Handed Monkey). They got some real nice stuff there. And my jeans, what can I say about them. They look like crap, but the good kind, if there was a good kind of crap. I buy my jeans at Old Navy for like $20, then I go home and tear them up, literally. They've got holes in them, they're all faded and stuff. It looks so cool. I figure, why go pay $30-$50 for a pair of trashed jeans when I can do it myself for nothing. And my footwear of choice is always the world famous Chuck Taylor Converse. I don't wear anything else. Man, I love those shoes. I've had them for 3 years and they look like it, too. And it wouldn't be a Brandon James outfit unless I wore the beltbuckle. Damn, I look good.

I am making a prediction: The summer of 2004 will be the Summer of Love.

You know how most people say that sushi is gross? Well you know what? They're right. But its also very fun. Eating sushi is like taking shots, you just got to close your eyes and take it like a champ, and hope you don't puke. California rolls rock, but that stuff that Jon ordered was a little iffy. Yeah, he orded like three plates full of all this sushi. I had ordered only like 4 spinach rollsk, 2 cucumber rolls, and some California rolls. By the end of the night, I was eating raw fish, octopuss, and a whole lot of stuff that I didn't know. But it was a lot of fun.

I'm gonna go see "Kill Bill Vol. 2" tomorrow. I don't know, I just wanted to tell everyone the good news.

I'm back on my workout plan again. Whoosa.

You know what's great? Driving at 100 mph. Its such an adrenaline rush. First of all, the fact that I got my Saturn to hit a bill was enough to throw me into a state of shock. Then the thought of getting in an accident or getting pulled over by the cops is a bigger thrill.

"Nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it! Except that one guy who called me a fizzle and then ran off. He got away with it. But most people who call me a fizzle don't get away with it. Well, actually, that guy who got away with it was the only one who ever called me a fizzle. After today ... only half the people who ever called me a fizzle will have gotten away with it."

Nick, here's a plug for blog.
Nick's Blog

And AJ, I am most definately going to kick your ass in some THPS when you get into town. Nick, I thought that we were gonna kick it old school with some THPS1. Either, AJ is going down. Brandon James aka Brandon James, bitch aka Blaximus aka The Southern Gentleman aka Da Deaux Boi shall reign victorious.

The time has come for me to..........

I am at a point in my life where things are changing too fast for me to comprehend them.

I love her.

Apparently, everyone loves my blog. With that said, I just want to say thank you to everyone who reads it.

I've got nothing.

Cheese it!!

Lets all have a moment of silence for the Klein Forums website. It was only with us for one year, but during that one year, we learned, laughed, and cried. From "Faucet Talk with Klein Girls" to "Who is the Has The Biggest Ass in Klein", Kleinforums.com you will be missed. Kleinfoums.com (2003-2004)

Being the habitual liar that I am (as if you didn't already know), I decided to share some of what I have learned over my past 19 years of existence.

When you forget to ring in a tables order and they ask where it is:
1. "We have some new trainees in the kitchen and they dropped you food so they had to recook it."
2. "The chef's messed up you order, so they had to recook it"
3. "Someone else grabbed your food out of the kitchen by mistake."
4. "They lost the ticket with your order on it."
5. If they asked for something specially made, for instance, they wanted their steak cooked medium rare and it came out well, tell them that they had to start over with a fresh steak.

When you havent been to class in a week/ excuse for a late assignment:
1. The "Dead relative" one works really well.
2. The "Work Situation" one works also. Tell your teacher how you have a high postition at your job (ex: I tell them that im a head waiter) and that someone quit or had to go out of town, and you were the only person who could cover their shifts. Then tell your teacher that you were so busy with school and work that you completely forgot about the assignment.
3. The "Im sick" routine. Make up a sickness. Always make sure it coincides with the time of year (winter=flu, cold, spring/summer=allergies).
4. Oh, the "Crappy computer". Your computer keeps crashing on you and you lost everything. Or say that your printer ran out of ink that when you were printing it out last night and it was too late to buy a refill. You could also say that you got a computer virus. It works the same.
5. The "Jail" excuse. This one works for not going to work. Say you got busted for something that would involve you staying in jail overnight (public intoxication, you got in a fight at a bar). And make sure you follow up on the lie also (I'm gonna miss next week cuz ive got a court date. Only use this one a semester, MAYBE twice if you think you can pull it off.
6. The "broken car" excuse. This works on missing class for a day. It works for being late to work also. Use any car knowledge you have, and use it as an excuse. "I got a flat on the road", "Engine overheated", "Out of gas".

When friends/co-workers ask you to do things for them (pick up a shift, hang out with them, etc.):
1. I've got class that day.
2. I've got ..............(make up some family outing [dinner, granny's house] it always works)
3. I've got homework/ a project to do.
4. I'm grounded (if you still live at home)
This one could go forever. Whatever you say or do, make it believable and convincing.

Im gonna write a book, or a pamphlet or something and its gonna be about common resturant courtesy and manners. For example: Dont treat your waiter like your their only table. It's like ball hogging, only with your waiter. We've got three, four, sometimes five other tables besides the one we're talking with and the others all need you to go get stuff (drink refill, more bread, silverwear) and when you sit there and take 15 minutes to order you food, the other tables get mad at me and at you. I'm sorry, didn't mean to get on my soapbox.

Todays blog:
Miree's Blog

I do not understand the concept of love.

Check this out. Finally some recognition.
Ode to the Nice Guys

I have perfected the art of steering my car with my knees. Its funny to see the looks on people's faces when they see me driving with both hands behing my head.

See you space cowboy............

Como esta

Oh, thanks for the plug, Cush.

Wow, this is weird. There is this girl at work that I like, and she likes me (Jon, take a guess who it is). And we totally click together. And we've been talking a lot lately. When we talk, we always joke around about dating. I want to make that next step, but..............I don't know. It feels like I'm standing in a doorway, and I want to go into the room, but something won't let me. Jurassic 5 has this song called "Thin Line", and it talks about being friends with someone for so long and how you want to take the relationship to the next level, but you don't want things to be weird. One of the lines goes, "Opposites attract / And best friends make a perfect match / If you only knew that / Once we cross ain't no turning back".That's kind like how I feel right now. And what's weird is that I've never cared for anyone before like I care for her. We have such a close bond. For instance, last night at breakfast, she told me something that she had never told anyone else before, not even her parents. Like my man Andre 3000 said, "I hope that your the one / If not, then you are the prototype".

You know what's crazy? My last final is on Wednesday. Damn, this semester went by fast.

Hey Nick you'll never guess who came into the Deaux on Friday night.

Spiderman 2. Go watch the trailer.

Oh, JP, I tried to send you the pics but Yahoo! said that they were never sent. Weird.

I am so tired. Im gonna go count some of those Certa Mattress sheep.